[Smoove is about to rip this event hard core, like a porno flick bitch. If you are associated with the American Cancer Society or Party With A purpose, it would be a good idea to stop reading right about… now. Mmmm-kay? - Ed.]

Last Saturday evening, I stopped by Party With A Purpose. Ostensibly, the purpose of the party was to raise money for the American Cancer Society. I suspect that the real purpose of the party was to annoy me. The first irritating thing about this event was the distribution of media passes. I had to pick mine up at Andrews Upstairs, which I hate, before 8pm. However, the VIP soiree there would turn out to be the best part of the night, since it involved free beer. And the bartender was hot.

After drinking several free beers and eating some free food with recurring Propeller Skies character John and his date, I headed over to The Roxy Theatre for the event. Soon after arriving, I headed to the bar and had the following surreal conversation with the bartender: “Bourbon on the rocks, please.”

“That will be nine dollars*”

“What?**”

“Nine dollars, please.”

“Never mind, what is available at the open bar?”

“There is no open bar.”

“Not even a beer special?”

“No.”

Douchebags. After further investigation, I found out that the bastards at The Roxy informed the organizing committee two weeks prior to the event that it was against their policy to allow an open bar. Also, none of the bar receipts from the severely overpriced drinks went to the American Cancer Society. It gets even better. Management could not even find it in their hearts to donate the two free drinks that paying suckers partygoers did receive. Therefore, we here at Prizzo Skeezy bestow upon The Roxy Theatre the first ever Cocksuckers of the Month award.

Almost as bad as the lack of free booze was the wack musical acts that were playing. One of the featured bands was Serene, who are quite possibly the most tiresome band in Atlanta. Unfortunately, they seem to have a knack for self-promotion and keep showing up at events in an effort to bore me to death. The “headliners” were three singer-songwriters from forgotten early 90s one hit wonders, who strummed acoustic guitars and sang their aforementioned hits. The level of excitement was unbelievable.

This event sucked goat cock. A combination of a poor organizing committee and a greedy venue doomed it. I do not recommend this event.

notes:

* Even Compound, the most expensive club in the city, only charges seven dollars for the same drink.
** In years past, Party With a Purpose has been inclusive and was advertised as such this year on several event sites.