Propeller Skies

Friday evening, inclement weather including freezing rain and snow was predicted. In Atlanta, weather predictions with the word snow cause the general populace to immediately head for the nearest grocery store and buy as much bread and milk as they can afford. For the last five years, I was extremely confused by this. Where I am from, Jamestown, we run to the store and buy as much beer as possible when a major storm is on the way.

Tonight, while trying to find some bread in a Kroger that resembled a circa 1985 Soviet Union grocery store, I came up with the following theory to explain this highly irrational stockpiling of bread and milk. Because Atlantans are unfamiliar with snow and modern inventions such as sand, they purchase milk to weigh down the back of their pickup trucks for better traction. Again, because they are unfamiliar with sand, slices of bread are stuffed underneath the tires for better traction, or eaten as snacks while the defroster melts the ice off the windshield, since no one owns an ice scraper.

In conclusion, I am probably going to get kidney stones, because Kroger only had whole milk in stock.

Holy fucking shit, this version of Gin and Juice is the funniest damn thing I have heard in a long time. This super fun time download is presented by my cracka Smoove K.

By the way, this will only be up for a limited time as psychics predict it will put a big fucking dent in my motherfucking bandwidth. Peace out, bitches.

[Obviously, this will work best with broadband. Dial-up users are advised to [1] join the space age, or [2] right click and select the appropriate download option - Ed.]

Saturday afternoon, I was walking through a cold gray drizzle reminiscent of the good old days in Buffalo. Unfortunately, the Buffalo like effect was spoiled by the lack of a cold biting wind whipping past. A black SUV pulled up next to me and recurring Propeller Skies character The Quiet One asked if I needed a ride. I hopped in and gave C-Dogg directions to my apartment. After a quick stop for coffee, doughnuts, and a post to aspherical, we were on our way OTP.

I observed this was great drinking weather and roughly thirty minutes later, we pulled into World Liquor. Moments later, the Quiet One, C-Dogg, and I were at the counter with a twelve pack each. After some debate, we decided that should be a sufficient amount of beer. We loaded up the truck and headed over to my cracka Smoove B’s place to get loaded and eat gumbo help him celebrate his birthday.

At this point, astute readers will note that I frequently disparage the vast hinterland commonly referred to as OTP. Usually with plenty of justification, since it is filled with militant fundamentalist neo-con Ford Valdez™ driving soccer moms with assault rifles, although some details may be slightly exaggerated for comedic effect. Because of the location, I had somewhat low expectations for this party.

Smoove B’s birthday soiree started out somewhat slow. We arrived around two in the afternoon and promptly began drinking. By five, C-Dogg and I were giving thanks that we each brought twelve packs. About that time, the MILF crowd departed and left only the serious partiers. Things picked up from there and the party transcended location and became totally bitchin’.

Eventually, we ran out of beer and left the party, heading over to C-Dogg’s place. On the way there, we stopped by Wendy’s and picked up some tasty burgers and fries, despite The Quiet One’s best efforts to antagonize the kid working the drive through. The night concluded with C-Dogg throwing his shoes from the far end of the living room into the kitchen. Which, at the time, was pretty fucking hilarious.

I highly recommend Wendy’s after a hard afternoon and evening of drinking heavily. All three of us woke up the next morning hangover free.

Last Friday, I paid a visit to Showcase and dropped off the first roll of film I shot with a Fujica STX-1 recurring Propeller Skies character Ted donated to me. Today, I finally saw the results.

As near as I can tell, the camera is between twenty-two and twenty-five years old. It spent most of those twenty-odd years sitting on a shelf in various places that Ted lived. As mentioned previously on the Prizzo Skeezy, most of the camera functions seemed to work, except for the meter. Given the age of the camera, I had very low expectations with regard to its performance.

Much to my surprise, the test roll that I shot came back looking pretty good. I wish I had put some more thought into subject matter, as all the photos were well exposed and showed no signs of light leaks. Additionally, focus appears to be dead on. I shot several of the photos with the Fujinon 50mm f/1.9 wide open and they came out tack sharp. A few shots did come out not so sharp, but that was due to operator error and not equipment issues.

My initial impression is this is a most excellent camera. Additionally, lenses and accessories are very economical via eBay. Unfortunately, they can be difficult to find, as these were never very popular cameras.

Saturday evening, The Beaver* and I dropped by Cafe Intermezzo for a drink. Because it was reasonably early, we were able to score seats at the bar. Intermezzo has an enormous selection of espresso drinks, cocktails, misnamed Martinis**, wine, and beer. After perusing this list for about half an hour, I ordered a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale (SNPA). The Beaver was a bit more adventurous and ordered a white wine.

I enjoyed my SNPA and ordered another one. In contrast, my companion decided to switch types of wine and asked the bartender for advice. Despite displaying competency in the all-important category of getting more booze to the patrons in a timely manner, the bartender was clueless about wine and admitted as much to us. One would think an august establishment like Cafe Intermezzo would have some type of training program to familiarize the staff with the various and sundry libations available. Sadly, this is apparently not the case.

Overall, Cafe Intermezzo is a nice place to hang out, with an excellent faux European atmosphere. Additionally, drink prices are fairly reasonable, especially compared to establishments further north along Peachtree Street, in the Buckhead Shooting Gallery™. Cafe Intermezzo earns a rating of somewhat bitchin’.

notes:

* I do not make the nicknames, I just use them. Please contact the Israeli Council on Assigned Nick Names (ICANN) with any questions or concerns.
** As mentioned previously on the Prizzo Skeezy, a proper Martini is London Dry Gin, Vermouth, and a twist. Period.

I will certainly be getting a subscription to this magazine in the near future. A big Propeller Skies shout out to my cracka Smoove B for the link.

Complements of the Bush Economy™ I have been working hard to control costs and reduce overhead. After loading all my receipts from the past ten years into Quicken®* and clicking the magic button to anal retentively analyze my spending, the program returned a pie chart. The legend that went along with the pie chart read, “Alcohol & Drinking: 98.3 percent, Other Expenses 1.7 percent.” Stunned, I fired up Excel® and ran a few different scenarios. After this excercise, I concluded that even Yellow Tail® is too expensive. For the record, substituting it reduced the Alcohol & Drinking category to 88.5 percent of total expenditures. Fortuitously, I stumbled across Consumer Reports for the Wino Set, which will help me reduce future booze related expenses dramatically.

Propeller Skies aims to be your resource for surviving the Bush Economy™. Stay tuned for future features with regard to Ramen Noodle taste tests, dumpster diving tips and techniques, and other innovative ways to cut household expenses.

notes:

* Not really. I am way too fucking lazy to do that. Therefore, like evolution in Cobb County, GA, all conclusions drawn are just theories and not facts. Or maybe even speculation.

About eight months ago, I finally joined the space age and bought a digital camera. Astute readers will note that coincidentally, this is roughly the same time that the Nikon D70 hit store shelves in the United States. Approximately one month and a couple of thousand shots later, the D70 broke. I pulled out my old N65 that I was using for backup and shot film for about a month while waiting for the D70 to be repaired. Shooting film for a month reminded me why I went digital.

One of the key factors that made my decision to go digital much easier was E-6 Lab in Atlanta. Digital capture means freedom from dealing with dumbass lab employees incapable of following directions. It also means freedom from ever changing arbitrary and capricious turnaround times. However, I do miss the friendly and competent lab employees at Showcase.

Aside from the minor breaking for no reason episode, the Nikon D70 is an excellent piece of equipment. After the initial breakdown, I had no more trouble with it. After being forced to regress to the film age, I bought a second D70 body as a backup and had no trouble with it either.

What makes the D70 great is it works just like a film SLR and is reasonably affordable. Simply flip the power switch to “on” and take a photo. No waiting around for the camera to boot Windows®. Pushing the shutter release immediately takes a picture, with no shutter lag. What novel ideas. As a bonus, Nikon threw in the incredible 1,005 pixel meter used in their professional grade cameras. After 10,000 shots, I am convinced that this camera is incapable of incorrectly exposing a photograph. Of course, operator error in adjusting the camera settings can force it into poor exposures. Additionally, the i-TTL flash system is pretty damn good. It is not perfect, but I have rarely lost a shot because of i-TTL errors.

What makes the D70 better than film is the image is instantly available for review on the LCD. Even while the camera is still writing to the card. Another improvement is that white balance and ISO sensitivity can be adjusted on the fly. Shooting under tungsten light? No need to load a different kind of film, just push a button and twirl the command dial. Running out of light and need to get the shot? Push a different button, twirl the command dial, and increase the ISO sensitivity.

The only weakness of this camera is the worthless “scene” modes. These modes are unnecessary and are a waste of dial space. Photographers that need them should just buy a point and shoot and get over it.

This camera simply works like an SLR should. The program, aperture priority, and shutter priority modes work flawlessly. Manual mode provides full control of the camera, just like it should. The D70 is essentially the guts of a professional camera stuffed into a consumer body, with consumer auto focus. By the way, Nikon’s consumer auto focus is pretty good and pairing an AF-S lens with this camera bumps the performance up to excellent. I highly recommend the Nikon D70.

A big Propeller Skies shout out goes out to recurring Propeller Skies character Ted for unloading a Fujica STX-1 on me. For recurring readers not into old photography equipment, this is a fully manual SLR from the early 1980s, manufactured by the Fuji Photo Film Company. They were solid cameras that were eventually discontinued because they could not take enough market share from established brands such as Canon and Nikon. Unlike Leica, they never became overhyped, so bourgeoisie collectors with too much money and not enough sense ignored them. Because of this, some really nice lenses and accessories can be found on eBay for a song.

I finished the first round of consumer product safety testing this afternoon. The shutter seems to work and the lens stops down correctly when the shutter release is pressed. Amazingly, the flash sync circuitry still works and it successfully fired my modern Nikon SB-800 in A mode. Later this evening, I will install fresh batteries and see if the light meter still works. Tomorrow, I will run a roll of film through it, completing the final phase of consumer product safety testing.

Astute readers will note that the Prizzo Skeezy has now been around for a year. In that time, we have managed to switch blogware three times and amass a recurring Propeller Skies readership measured in the single digits. Therefore, we will build on our success by reorganizing and focusing on our core competencies to increase both readership and shareholder value.

The initial purpose of the Prizzo Skeezy was to call out overhyped bars that suck and promote local music that I happen to like. Along the way, we strayed from our mission and got caught up in the hopelessly lame Atlanta singles scene.

As the Prizzo Skeezy enters its second year, we will be concentrating on the original mission. Or not. I really have no idea what the fuck I will feel like writing about this year. So, all five recurring readers will just have to stick around and find out.