Propeller Skies

I am proud to introduce a new recurring Propeller Skies feature: Baller of the Week™ where I make fun of fucktards with ridiculous rims. Our first contestant is a pimped Grand Cherokee:

I started laughing uncontrollably when I saw this. Nothing says baller on a budget quite like fancy rims on a craptastic vehicle. A quick stroll to the rear of the automobile revealed this ass clown is from Bibb County*, which explained everything. Macon represent!

notes:

* Bibb County is so far OTP marrying family members is not only condoned, it is encouraged.

I ran into Leah at the grocery store last night. I have no idea what she was doing getting groceries in my hood, as her hood is far away from mine. In conclusion, Leah was looking pretty fucking hot.

Recurring Propeller Skies The Professor and I met for lunch at Feast, a new restaurant in Decatur. As usual for Atlanta, the restaurant is located in a former warehouse. Unlike other venues, the interior is not over-designed and Feast has the nicest bathroom in the city.

Getting to feast was an adventure. After trying to figure out the utterly asinine, arbitrary, and capricious system of one way streets in Decatur, I gave up, parked, and began walking in the general direction of Feast. As I was sauntering along, The Professor rolled up in his sweet Pontiac 6000. As he has mad navigational skills, we soon arrived at the restaurant.

We grabbed seats at the bar and ordered Bloody Marys. Because Decatur is weak sauce, we had to wait until twelve goddamn thirty for our flippin’ drinks. To exact revenge, next Sunday I plan on getting loaded, attending church, and puking my guts out on some motherfucking Baptists. Just kidding, I would never attend church un-coerced. I ordered the frittata, which translates to English as omelet, with sauteed shrimp, red peppers, and mozzarella cheese. It was dope as hell. The Professor had the Feast version of Eggs Benedict, which he also enjoyed. I recommend Feast, the restaurant is a nice addition to the Decatur scene.

Thanks to all four Propeller Skies readers that participated in Blogs That Don’t Suck, where I solicited input with regard to favorite reader blogs. The following blogs are highly recommended.

girlspoke

Not Horny Kristine submitted two blogs, one of which I like because the writing is pretty damn funny. As alert Prizzo Skeezy readers may have already ascertained from the heading, the name of that blog is… Girlspoke.

farting through my fingertips

Saltation missed the point. This is about me being lazy and not having to sort through everyone else’s links. However, I do stop by Farting Through My Fingertips on occasion because [1] I am highly amused by the word fart, and [2] Saltation is pretty fucking funny.

stacey nightmare

Official internet friend Melanie submitted Why Can’t I Meet Just One Nice Guy? and another blog I have not got around to reading yet, since I was too busy drinking beer and spending quality time with my iPod. Stacey Nightmare, the author of the aforementioned blog, is hilarious.

busblog

Couch also submitted two blogs. As Que Sera Sera is already in the Propeller Skies Blogroll of Massive Honor, I checked out Busblog. Despite the livejournalesque lack of capitalization, the writing is decent. This one is not as funny as the previously enumerated blogs.

Even though the Texas A&M Aggies won last Thursday, the score was far too close. After smoking SMU last week, the Aggies should have hung 84 on Texas State. However, another lackluster performance by Franchione meant Texas A&M barely squeaked by.

Saturday night, I stopped by The Star Bar to catch The Sudden Rays. I was excited to see them play, as the band includes Chris Hoke and Justin Gray, two members of the late 3d5spd, and Kevin Wallace, one of the best drummers in Atlanta.

Prior to the show, my friend Joie warned me The Sudden Rays were significantly more mainstream than 3d5spd. I was a bit concerned, since listening to a mainstream band would totally shred all my hipster cred.

Once the band started playing, I realized the music was more accessible and less spacey than 3d5spd. However, Hoke has a unique voice and guitar playing style, both of which influence the sound of The Sudden Rays and elevate them above mere mainstream status. In addition, Gray’s solid bass playing and Wallace’s ass kicking drumming combine to form a punishing rhythm session.

The somewhat thin audience was treated to an excellent show. Based on the amount of applause I heard between songs and the high percentage of people paying attention to the show, most people were really into the band. As an aside, more than half of Envie was also in attendance.

In short, The Sudden Rays blew me away. This was a show well worth attending and I highly recommend checking them out.

Saturday, I attended the East Atlanta Strut* in, obviously, East Atlanta. For Propeller Skies readers not familiar with Atlanta, the East Atlanta Strut is basically a standard neighborhood festival complete with artists selling their wares in tents and several bands that play throughout the day. As the festival is in East Atlanta, it attracts an unusually large number of indie rockers, hipsters, and people with a higher than average number of tattoos and piercings.

Between shows I ran into my friend and former colleague Joie, who I have not seen in quite some time. We chatted for a bit and she clued me in that The Sudden Rays would be playing later at the Star Bar.

spy rocks the festival

The reason I went to the East Atlanta Strut, besides to get drunk, was to catch a Spy show. After suffering through the obligatory opening band that sucks, I was thrilled when Spy opened their set with a bitchin’ Sonic Youth cover. They also played my all time favorite Spy song, Break My Mind. Like the last Spy show I went to, I will not be writing a full review of this one, because Andy from Creative Loafing was there. However, I will take a minute to criticize the sound quality. Mark Skinner’s guitar was far too bright and more bass in the mix would have been appreciated.

By the way, all five Propeller Skies readers can hear the awesomeness that is Spy for themselves by following the previous link. I highly recommend catching a Spy show.

uva isn’t exactly charm school

I arrived at the East Atlanta Strut early to catch Charm School, who I had previously heard on the always excellent Album 88 several months ago. After missing several of their shows, I was elated to finally get a chance to see them play.

Charm School consists of four members, two vocalists and guitarists, a bass player, and a drummer. The band plays somewhat sunny pop, which I am not overly fond of. However, Charm school does it well and I enjoyed their show.

They played an all right show, but did not really fire on all cylinders until the last three songs. Additionally, the sound man was not their friend.

I recommend catching a Charm School show. They are worth making a trip to see, and absolutely worth arriving early to catch as an opening act.

notes:

* WARNING: The circa 1996 design of this site may cause seizures. Do not view if you suffer from: epilepsy, migraines, or explosive diarrhea.

While dining at the not so tasty Cafe Sampan, I picked up a flyer advertising complementary cocktails on opening night at Suzy Wong’s Lounge. Despite the offer of free booze, I was feeling too lazy to go. So I consulted the Magic 8 Ball. It responded with “reply hazy try again.” I followed the directions and got “most likely.” Hence this post, brought to you by the Magic 8 Ball.

I rolled up in my bitchin’ Cobalt and handed the keys to the valet. I walked upstairs to find that the new, and clearly retarded, owners had ruined what was once one of the best bars in Atlanta. Instead of a beautiful backlit onyx wall, there was nothing but a dumbass Asian inspired black and red wall that looked every bit as stupid as Dirk Diggler’s faux oriental bedroom in Boogie Nights. Unfortunately, the free booze promotion attracted a most irritating crowd - the bar was packed with obnoxious $30,000 millionaires. I was hoping to at least scope out some hotties, but all the women were pushing forty and obviously had more work done than Cher. Fucking awful. Seriously, this was so bad I left without getting a free drink.

I do not recommend Suzy Wong’s Lounge. Several other options, such as Halo and Bazaar, are far better.

Here in America, we like to punish poor people for being poor. They deserve it for being too lazy to work or attain an education and better their lot in life. Our favorite ways to punish them are to pack them like anchovies into badly built crime infested housing projects and to produce really bad cheap cars. Natural disasters that disproportionately affect the poor are just an added bonus that proves God hates the poor too.

Last week, my beloved Acura was in the shop, getting the motherfucking window fixed again. Therefore, I was issued a Chevrolet Cobalt to drive in the interim. In contrast to the mediocre Ford Focus I had last time, the Cobalt is a total piece of shit. Fucking MARTA is more comfortable than a Chevy Cobalt. If the painful seats were not punishing enough, this damn car also has no power equipment whatsoever. No power windows, no power locks, no remote trunk release, and no remote keyless entry. On a positive note, it at least has air conditioning.

performance (or lack thereof)

This is almost the slowest car in the history of cars. Only my friend Clear-Dogg’s college car, an early 1990s Hyundai Excel had less power. Flooring the accelerator results in all 145 horses screaming in agony behind the firewall and a small increase in forward momentum. In contrast, my Acura accelerates better in sixth gear. And gets better gas mileage doing it. In comparison, the Focus accelerated slightly faster.

The suspension is a disaster. In contrast to the Focus, which was at least acceptable, the Cobalt feels like it is about to tip over when going around a freeway ramp at speeds over 20 miles per hour. I drove an SUV for four years that felt more stable.

The brakes do stop the car in a reasonable distance. However, pedal feel is abysmal and I am always surprised the car does come to a stop.

conclusion

The only thing GM gets right on this car is the silky smooth automatic transmission. I do not recommend this car. Anyone looking for a cheap car would be well advised to purchase a used Civic or Corolla. Maybe even a Focus, if buying American is a priority.

I was totally thrilled to see Texas A&M beat SMU by an authoritative margin of 58 points on Saturday. I did not expect Texas A&M to lose, but the Aggies fell apart against Baylor last year.