I went to some Halloween themed events and parties last weekend. I do not feel like writing reviews. However, I will mention that Spiralween sucked. I knew it would, but I went anyway. Note to self: remember to consult the Prizzo Skeezy when deciding what to do.

Carl Torbush needs to be fired immediately. Under his watch the Texas A&M defense, already ranked last in the Big 12 Conference, is getting worse. This week Torbush’s patented Pink Shirts defense performed worse in every category Propeller Skies tracks. The following statistics tell the tale:

Texas A&M is allowing 26.4 […]

Since motherfuckers keep abandoning wrecked cars in the parking lot of my ghetto fabulous apartment complex, I am going to start making fun of them on a regular basis. Therefore, I present the first Propeller Skies Safe Driver of the Week™:

I estimate it will take the incompetent management of the ghetto fabulous […]

Three years ago, Halloween was the best fucking holiday ever. Friday night, a crew of not yet recurring Propeller Skies characters and I attended the Wednesday Night Drinking Club party at The Mansion. That shit was superlative. We later took a cab over to Northside Tavern, where I did not get into […]

In contrast to the first Baller of the Week™ contestant, obviously a white kid from the suburbs who threw rims on his parents’ old Grand Cherokee, this Baller of the Week™ is serious. Behold a stunning example of a pimped 1980s Impala:

Besides looking retarded, those rims are a bitch to […]

Dear SonyBMG,
Nice try. It took me all of two hours to break the copy protection on Howl by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. For the record, I used off the shelf hardware and freely available software. No hacking required.
All I wanted to do was listen to my legally purchased […]

Dennis Franchione needs to be fired for not sending defensive coordinator Carl Torbush to the unemployment line. While the Aggies as a whole have been underachieving this year, Torbush’s incompetence has resulted in the following stellar defensive statistics:

Texas A&M is allowing 24.1 points per game, which is good for eighth in the […]

Just because Reggie McNeal, Javorskie Lane, and the rest of the Texas A&M Aggies destroyed Oklahoma State on Saturday does not mean Dennis Franchione should continue to coach in Aggieland. However should Mr. Franchione continue this level of effort and defeat Texas Tech, Oklahoma, and TU I will grudgingly admit that Mr. Franchione can […]

Last year, the Great Decatur Beer Festival sucked more dick than Stephanie Swift. Therefore I did not attend on Saturday. When the organizers pass out real pint glasses again and bring the price back down to reasonable levels, say around twenty dollars, I might consider attending. Bloody fucking tossers.

Yesterday, I was thinking about three of my favorite things - beer, pizza, and naked women. Experiencing all three at once in the comfort of my own home would be awesome. Therefore, I am going to open a pizza shop and hire strippers to deliver pizza and beer.