Propeller Skies

This week, the prestigious Propeller Skies Fucktard of the Week™ award is personal. The following scene greeted me in the parking lot of my ghetto fabulous apartment complex this morning:

Merely scraping the bumper of an automobile is not enough to qualify one for the coveted Fucktard of the Week™ award. This Fucktard of the Week™ went above and beyond normal levels of idiocy by causing the following damages:

• Gouged bumper cover;
• Dented and scratched headlight assembly; and
• Scratched fender.

I realize with all the Safe Drivers of the Week™ and drunk drivers residing in my ghetto fabulous apartment complex it was only a matter of time before my Acura TL would be molested. However, I would have liked to make more than three fucking payments on the goddamn car. All five Prizzo Skeezy readers are invited to speculate on the estimated cost of repairs via the comments link. Hint: projector beam HID assemblies are not free.

[Update: the Fucktard of the Week™ did leave contact information. However, he took his sweet time returning Smoove D's phone calls. Additionally, note or no note, crashing into a parked car automatically qualifies a person for Fucktard of the Week™ status - Ed.]

Saturday afternoon, recurring Propeller Skies character The Beaver dragged me to the Dogwood Festival. As usual for an event in this sorry excuse for a city, parking sucked a big fat dick. To all the cocksuckers opposed to the parking deck in Piedmont Park: fuck all y’all, I hope your houses burn down and your insurance lapsed, causing you to die penniless and riddled with venereal diseases while being savagely beaten by the pigs for begging in downtown Atlanta.

I wrote about enjoying the Dogwood Festival a few years ago, but I was not impressed this year. Exactly three booths featured decent photography. The rest of the festival was kitsch art manufactured for the lowest common denominator. I do not recommend the Dogwood Festival.

The winner of the prestigious Propeller Skies Fucktard of the Week™ award is a shining example for safe drivers everywhere. Enjoy Busta Rhymes’ commentary on a cracker who parked a Ferrari in a rose bush. Note how the fat jack-off pig threatens to jail Mr. Rhymes for no reason at the end of the tape. That bullshit is unconstitutional. Fuck the police.

For any of the Ferrari driver’s friends who think this is not funny, I think this is some motherfucking hilarious shit. Got a problem with me laughing at your dumb ass? Stop doing stupid shit.