The Man, not content with packing us into cubicles and keeping us down, tortured us with Pizza Hut pizza and a 150* slide Powerpoint presentation during lunch today. Amazingly, Pizza Hut has developed pizza with absolutely no flavor.

I like pizza. I have dreams about eating big floppy slices of pepperoni pizza with extra cheese while Lindsey Lohan gives me head. And not the anorexic version of Ms. Lohan, but the one with some meat on her bones and a nice rack. Big floppy pieces of zesty pizza really make the dream. Only some pepperoni rolls from Double Dave’s could improve it. Pizza Hut has succeeded in making me hate pizza.

notes:

* A slight exaggeration. However, I was sleeping and not counting, so there really might have been 150 slides.