Propeller Skies

After Dennis Franchione’s prior performances in Aggieland, I am shocked that Texas A&M has managed to win the first four games of the season. Granted, logos of these teams show up next to “cupcake” in the dictionary, but Mr. Franchione has the dubious distinction of losing to Baylor, and almost losing to Baylor, so this is a surprise.

fire franchione

I am getting rather tired of typing fire followed by Franchione, or Darnell. Unfortunately, Mr. Franchione has yet to prove he should remain as the head coach of the Aggies. Hint: it’s the winning, stupid. Last week, the Texas A&M offense looked lackluster against a mediocre Army defense. This week, the Aggie offense did not even show up until the second half. Lack of offense in the last two games bodes ill for the conference opener against Texas Tech.

fire darnell

The fucking French have more defense than Gary Darnell. Behold the surrender of Mr. Darnell’s (lack of) defense:

• Points allowed per game continued the upward trend and now stands at 12;
• Pass defense increased to an average of 127.5 yards allowed per game, however this is still good for first in the Big 12 and complements of a weak sauce schedule;
• Rushing yards allowed decreased to 132 yards per game, but the Aggies are now last in the Big 12; and
• Total defense increased to an average of 259.5 yards allowed per game.

Saturday, recurring Propeller Skies character Hunter and I drove to Fatburger for lunch. Fatburger is smoove as hell.

the shake

Fatburger shakes are fucking premium. They taste delicious because the shakes are made with real motherfucking ice cream. Calorie counters need not worry, as effort expended sucking the thick shake down burns plenty. I prefer the minimalist flavor of their vanilla shake.

the burger

Fatburger makes burgers out of meat from an actual cow. Then, they cook the burger on an actual grill and deliver it. I ordered a Kingburger with cheese, which was mighty tasty.

the fries

In contrast to the shakes and burgers, fries at Fatburger are good, but not outstanding. I had skinny fries, as they are crisper than fat fries.

For the final stop on the Excursion d’Atlanta Est, recurring Propeller Skies characters Hunter, The Photographer, and I dropped in to the Graveyard Tavern for a few beers. Alert Prizzo Skeezy readers may recall I was less than impressed with the food at the Graveyard Tavern the last time I stopped in. However, I promised to stop again and review its suitability as a bar.

Despite its craptacular restaurant, the Graveyard Tavern is a premium place to drink. Beer selection is good, with a bias towards the old world - especially England. The superlative bar provides plenty of space for relaxing with a crowd of friends. Service was generally prompt, except when attempting to pay the tab. The Graveyard Tavern earns a rating of somewhat smoove, mostly due to several excellent and proximate competing establishments. Some smokin’ hot bartenders with loads of cleavage might provide a competitive advantage.

Alert Propeller Skies readers know I spend ass loads of time at The Earl. Usually in the back room listening to the super sounds of the Atlanta indie scene. On occasion, usually when a friend is in town, I like to hang out in the front room at the bar.

After eating a tasty dinner at the Mexican restaurant in East Atlanta, recurring Propeller Skies characters Hunter, The Photographer, and I headed up Flizzo Sheezy to The Earl for a few drinks. I like The Earl, because it is filled with a range of cats from indie chicks with nice racks to crazy motherfucking homeless people. I also enjoy the dive bar ambiance. Just kidding, I really like The Earl because it is economical. Additionally, the bartenders are always quick with another Rolling Rock. The Earl is totally bitchin’.

Normally, tree hugging hippies anger me. I do agree with them on some things, like free love, but non-stop peace, love, and happiness makes me want to rip the heads off live kittens, microwave cute puppies, and take a gas powered weed whacker to fields of picturesque flowers.

The people at Buckeye Brewing may be a bunch of no good tree hugging stoners, but they manufacture a damn tasty IPA, mitigating their shortcomings. The Frequent Updater introduced me to Buckeye Brewing’s exquisite Hippie India Pale Ale (IPA) when I met her in Columbus. So when news hit that Hunter would be visiting Atlanta - strip city, I requested he bring some premium Hippie IPA. Despite only one store in Columbus carrying Hippie IPA, Hunter tracked it down and came through in a big way.

Like all good IPAs, this one is astringent and hoppy but not overwhelming. Citrus is the main flavor of Hippie IPA. Some grapefruit notes exist, but very faintly. Pine flavors are minimal, which I like. The finish is drier than the Mojave Desert, with a slight alcohol burn. Carbonation is excessive for my taste, but handy if one wants to belch the alphabet as a parlor trick.

Hippie IPA is a premium brew. All five Propeller Skies readers are strongly advised to try Buckeye Brewing’s Hippie IPA if ever coterminous with the Ohizzy.

The Mexican restaurant in East Atlanta* angered me when it opened by significantly reducing free parking spaces proximate to East Atlanta Village. Despite recommendations from friends and internet acquaintances, I refused to try the Mexican restaurant because of my anger.

Last Friday, Hunter, recurring Propeller Skies character The Photographer, and I went to the Mexican restaurant for dinner. Although the menus were difficult to read in the photonically challenged back bar, we managed to order. I had enchiladas with spicy red sauce. I found the enchiladas mighty zesty and very tasty.

Beer selection is somewhat limited; however several beers produced in Mexico are represented. I ignored the aforementioned Mexican brews and had a Pabst Blue Ribbon, because it is cheap. Unexpectedly, the beer colored water provided a nice counterpoint to the flavorful food. In contrast to the beer selection, a stunning variety of tequila is available.

A point not to be overlooked in this Bush economy is prices are low by Atlanta standards. Except for the parking issue, the Mexican restaurant in East Atlanta is totally bitchin’.

notes:

* I do not remember the name and am too lazy to look it up. It does not matter anyway, as there is only one Mexican restaurant in East Atlanta.

Even though a win is a win, the Texas A&M Aggies looked positively awful against the Army Black Knights and Dennis Franchione was out coached yet again. As per usual in the Dennis Franchione era, the missing in action Aggie (lack of) defense almost lost the game. Mr. Franchione made the best call he could late in the game on a fourth and one at the Texas A&M 30 yard line. Giving the ball to Jorvorskie Lane was Mr. Franchione’s only option, which would have worked if the offensive line held. Gary Darnell’s patented Pink Shirts (lack of) defense was certainly not up to the task of preventing an Army touchdown. The Pink Shirts did manage to hold, however this was more the fault of the Black Knights’ incompetent offense than an outstanding Aggie defensive effort.

fire franchione

Last week, I did not call for Mr. Franchione’s firing, as the offense seemed to be in decent shape. Sadly, Army proved the Texas A&M offense is lacking.

fire darnell

Mr. Darnell should never have been hired in the first place. As predicted two weeks ago on Propeller Skies, all four of the following defensive categories tracked got worse:

• Average points allowed per game trended upward to 11.3, while the number of points scored increased from 7 to 24;
• Pass defense increased to 93.7 yards allowed per game - good for 1st in the Big 12, however, this is a function of poor opposing quarterbacks and not a solid Aggie defense;
• Rush defense is even worse than last week, with 151.7 yards allowed per game - again good for 11th in the Big 12; and
• Total yards allowed increased to 245.3 - good for 4th in the Big 12, two spots lower than last week.

Conference play is going to be a motherfucker.

Because of the overwhelming response to Pimp My Grilled Cheese: Goat Cheese Edition, I added some bling to my grilled cheese again. Enjoy the following recipe for a grilled cheese sandwich with bleu cheese:

• Whole grain bread, two slices of;
• American cheese*, two slices of;
• Bleu cheese crumbles, lots of;
• Butter**, four slices of; and
• Fresh ground pepper, to taste.

Butter one slice of bread and place butter side down in a cast iron frying pan***. Unwrap and place the slices of American cheese so they cover the bread. Add fresh ground pepper to taste. Sprinkle blue cheese crumbles on the American cheese to taste. Place the remaining slice of whole wheat bread on top of the bleu cheese and put two pats of butter on top of the bread. Fry over medium heat until golden brown and flip. When both sides are suitably toasted, cut diagonally and enjoy. Finally, bring Smoove D a bottle of Tanquerey No. 10 to thank him for introducing such a bitchin’ sandwich to the world.

notes:

* Publix brand is slightly zestier than Kroger brand, while not overwhelming the humble nature of the grilled cheese sandwich.
** This is important: use real butter for optimum grilled cheese flavor.
*** I find Le Creuset works well, despite being made in France Freedom.
**** Chainsaw Death owns.

The Magic 8 Ball® fucking owns. I was half asleep on the couch about to skip the East Atlanta Strut, because Dip N Steam were only scheduled to play for twenty minutes. However, I asked the Magic 8 Ball® if I should go and it responded, “outlook good.” So I got off my lazy ass and attended a premium show.

afar

I arrived in time to catch Afar tuning up - recurring Propeller Skies readers will remember them from the Apache Cafe. For those not in the know, Afar consists of some bad ass musicians and one hell of a drummer. Afar jammed for a bit and played some funky shit. While they were playing, a yuppie looking white guy on a vintage style bicycle rolled up and started dancing. While still on the bike. Funny shit.

Afar is totally bitchin’ and all five Propeller Skies readers should catch a show. Until they play out next, have a listen at Afar’s Myspace page.

do not sleep

Dip N Steam were up next and were joined by Jaha for their first two joints. Jaha added another dimension to their sound and blended well. For the third song, Afar and D.N.S. played a mean motherfucking version of G.U.M. - way different than the version on Dip N Steam’s Myspace page. During the performance, recurring Prizzo Skeezy character Big A pointed out a drunk guy dancing behind the stage. Go to a D.N.S. show.

Jaha

As per usual, Jaha was excellent. His stuff is so powerful that a woman started dancing with the aforementioned drunk guy who had come around to the front of the stage. Sample his premium tunes on Jaha’s Myspace page.

notes:

* Just to be clear, I fucking hate Myspace. The service is overrun by worthless pikers like fourteen year old girls, pedophiles, and other douchebags, all of whom lack the basic skills to write sentences resembling grammatically correct English. Do not get me started on the hopelessly retarded lack of spelling. One would think News Corporation would have the resources to code up a damn spell checker. Additionally, the motherfucking ugly goddamn templates make my retinas bleed. However, Myspace does provide one useful service - it is an excellent platform for underground artists to spread their music. Hence the links.

Like the seventh Baller of the Week™, this week’s hustler is a baller on a budget. He bought the cheapest Benz and then spent plenty of chedder on ugly fucking rims to appear more successful than he really is. Behold the power of cheese: