Propeller Skies

Dennis Franchione gets a pass this week from the usual call for his ouster, because the offense appears to be up and running. Scoring 51 points against the Ragin’ Cajuns was a reasonable and expected result. Additionally, the offense stopped fumbling on every other play, leading to an improved, but still sorry, average turnover margin of -0.5 per game. Texas A&M now has the ninth worst turnover margin in the Big 12.

defense allows 134 percent more points in week two

Gary Darnell needs to be fired, yesterday. Two of the four categories Propeller Skies tracks declined this week. Behold the following less than stellar defensive statistics:

• Points allowed increased from an average of 3 per game to 7 - against weak opponents who should be shut out;
• Pass defense improved to 72.5 yards per game, good for best in the Big 12 - again negated by the poor quality of opposing teams;
• Rush defense is a fucking disaster, with 134.5 yards allowed per game - good for eleventh in the Big 12; and
• On the strength of the pass defense, total defense improved to 207.0 yards per game - second in the Big 12.

On the surface, Mr. Darnell appears to be doing an acceptable job. However, Bill Byrne’s philosophy of backing up the cupcake truck is simply hiding the reality that Mr. Darnell is a worse defensive coordinator than Carl Torbush. I predict Mr. Darnell’s one strong suit, pass defense, will go up in smoke when the Aggies begin playing teams with actual offenses. Rush defense is already cause for concern. After playing two weak sauce teams, the Texas A&M defense should be at the top of the Big 12 in stopping the run - not fighting for last place with Oklahoma. Lack of rushing defense is going to kill the Aggies in conference play - especially against Oklahoma.

This Safe Driver of the Week™ has been parking their ghetto sled in the lot at my ghetto fabulous apartment complex for quite some time. If they could be bothered to fix it, this would be a nice example of a first generation Lexus GS 300.

To no one’s surprise, the Texas A&M Aggies handily defeated the Citadel Bulldogs at Kyle Field to win their 20th consecutive home opener. Stephen McGee, Courtney Lewis, and Jorvorskie Lane all put up decent statistics in the win. Unfortunately, the Aggie offense also fumbled more than a freshman unhooking his first brassiere - leading to a fucking awful turnover margin of -3. Along with Oklahoma, this is the worst turnover margin in the Big 12.

wrecking crew still missing

Gary Darnell should print out and frame the statistics from the following categories tracked by Propeller Skies, as they are all likely to get worse as the season progresses:

• The defense only allowed 3 points;
• Pass defense is respectable with only 128 yards were allowed, good for 4th in the Big 12 - I suspect this is due to the ineptness of the Citadel offense, not any brilliant schemes on the part of Dennis Franchione or Mr. Darnell;
• The Texas A&M rushing defense is 10th in the Big 12, allowing 115 yards per game ;
• The Aggies are 4th in the Big 12 in total defense, with 243 yards per game.

I like grilled cheese sandwiches for two reasons: they are cheap and easy. Just like the women I date. Additionally, they are mighty fucking tasty. However, in this blingalicious age, the proletarian grilled cheese sandwich could use a little more burberry. Hence the following recipe for a grilled cheese sandwich with goat cheese:

• Whole grain bread, two slices of;
• American cheese*, one slice of;
• Goat cheese, one slice of;
• Butter**, four slices of; and
• Fresh ground pepper, to taste.

Butter one slice of bread and place butter side down in a cast iron frying pan***. Unwrap and place the slice of American cheese in the center. Add fresh ground pepper to taste. Spread goat cheese on the remaining slice of bread and stick it cheese side down on top of the American cheese. Put two pats of butter on top of the bread. Fry over medium heat until golden brown and flip. When both sides are suitably toasted, cut diagonally and enjoy. Finally, send a high class hooker to Smoove D’s ghetto fabulous apartment to thank him for introducing such an awesome taste sensation to the world.

notes:

* Kroger brand works fine. As the grilled cheese is a humble sandwich by nature, high falutin’ imitation cheese is not necessary.
** This is important: use real butter for optimum grilled cheese flavor.
*** I find Le Creuset works well, despite being made in France Freedom.
**** By the way, doomsday Jesus, we need you now.

Surprisingly, Propeller Skies has far more influence than I suspected. I dropped into Green’s to pick up Loose Cannon India Pale Ale (IPA) along with Red Sky at Night Saison Ale and discovered they were fresh out of the IPA. So, I purchased Titan IPA from the Great Divide Brewing Company in Colorado.

Titan IPA lacks a powerful hops punch and has less flavor than IPAs like Loose Cannon, Saranac, and Southern Tier. While the requisite grapefruit notes and bitterness do exist, pine flavors are overwhelming. Titan IPA is a good second string brew when nothing else is available. I prefer it to Sweetwater IPA.

While at Green’s purchasing Loose Cannon India Pale Ale, I picked up Red Sky at Night Saison Ale, also part of Clipper City Brewing Company’s Heavy Seas line.

Red Sky at Night is a Belgian country style ale. I am not fond of Belgian beers, as they have a nasty habit of making them out of wheat. However, Red Sky at Night is a supremely zesty brew. It blows away other Belgian style beers I have sampled, like the utterly disgusting Blue Moon, or actual Belgian beers such as Hoegaarden. All five Propeller Skies readers are strongly encouraged to try Red Sky at Night.

Both The Sandy Springs Baller and The Arkansas Player agree Red Sky at Night is mighty tasty.