Propeller Skies

Texas A&M: 12
Texas: 7

Normally, I hate the fucking French. However, the following video is an exception.

Yes, those are real red lights the driver is running. Yes, actual pedestrians are almost mowed down. Apparently, the film maker was unable to obtain a permit from Big Brother and did it anyway.

The Black Keys were fucking awesome and provided an hour and a half of premium percussion and non-stop guitar histrionics. For those unfamiliar with the band, the Black Keys sound like Junior Johnson sliding a Chrysler Imperial sideways down a back road in the North Carolina Mountains with the revenuers on his tail. Listen for your damn self by visiting the Black Keys Myspace page.

Normally, Opening Bands That Suck™ appear as an aside in the post regarding the band I actually went to see. However, the Black Angles get their very own post because they suck more dick than a ‘ho in a Too Short joint.

Get baked, put a Neil Young album on one CD player, put The End on repeat on another and have a homemade Black Angels experience, without the hassle of driving to a show. I found the Black Angels unbelievably boring and derivative. In contrast, the fucktard UGA frat types standing next to me seemed to think they were great. Additionally, I learned the next day Samantha liked the Black Angels. I highly recommend suicide, if one is forced to attend a Black Angels show.

Upon further reflection, and a visit to the Black Angel’s Myspace page, some of their songs are all right. Bloodhounds on my Trail is arguably their best song and I like it, but it would not be out of place on a Black Rebel Motorcycle Club album. In contrast, Empire neatly condenses everything I hate about the Black Angels into five minutes and thirty three seconds.

Some time ago, recurring Propeller Skies commenter Ross mentioned Five Guys Burgers in Lindbergh Center. Took me a while to get there, but a ground cow loving cracker like me had to make the journey.

a battle of burger titans: five guys versus fat

Both burger joints share the same philosophy: burgers should be cooked fresh and made out of quality ingredients.

The Five Guys burger was decent, but not great. I also found the fries to be all right. Overall, Five Guys Burgers was reasonably tasty.

How can I not like Fatburger? The motherfucking Beastie Boys name check them. Speaking of music, Fatburger’s jukebox destroys Five Guys Burgers. The music at Five Guys blew fucking goats.

Fatburger also takes the advantage where it is important - the burgers and fries. The Kingburger is juicier and exploding with flavor compared to Five Guys Burgers. I also prefer Fatburger’s skinny fries to Five Guys Burgers’ regular fries. Fat fries, however, suck ass.

Although Five Guys Burgers and Fatburger are mighty tasty, Hand in Pants, The Earl, North Highland Pub, and The Vortex are still the gold standard of burgers in Atlanta.

Last Thursday, I stopped by Lotus for the Atlanta Jaycees monthly happy hour. I enjoyed the event and spent some time catching up with old friends and briefly chatting with new friends. Jaycees events are smoove as hell and always worth the price of admission.

the venue

Lotus is the newest addition to the $30,000 millionaire Atlanta scene. Although Lotus is not a bad concept, Compound is still nicer. Besides, who the fuck wants to party at Lindbergh Center anyway?

the martinis

In the interest of scientific inquiry, I ordered a couple of Martinis.

Halo is still the motherfucking king of dope ass Martinis in Atlanta. Lotus gave them some competition, but came up short. The following list details what Lotus got right:

• The bartender chilled the glass with ice and water - although cocktail glasses should ideally be kept in the freezer, I will give Lotus a pass for trying;
• They followed directions, when I specified I got a twist (olives fucking disgust me); and
• A real glass was used - not a plastic one like a certain establishment in Fairlie Poplar once poured a Martini into.

How Lotus fucked up:

• My dry Martini was made with minimal vermouth - a proper dry Martini is 4:1. Not a splash of vermouth in the glass. That would be an extra dry Martini. Goddamn amateurs.
• The first Martini was served with olives when I forgot to specify a twist. Martinis should come with a twist by default or the bartender should at least ask. Wankers.

Lotus is not recommended. At their price point, motherfuckers need to come correct. Go to Halo, order a traditional Martini, and enjoy life. And another thing, what is with all the male bartenders? Last time I checked, Lindbergh Center was not in Midtown. Fuck, if the Earl can get a smokin’ hot six foot tall blonde to tend bar on a Wednesday night, a fucking lounge should be able to get some attractive women to sling overpriced lagers.

I paid a visit The Earl Wednesday night to catch the Silent Kids show. Allegedly, non-recurring Propeller Skies character Natalie was meeting me there, but she flaked after the last minute. Deleted.

opening band that sucks™ - the nevers

The Nevers are from Chapel Hill, NC, and play dreary, monotonous cookie cutter indie rock. I did, however, like the illustrations projected on a screen. I highly recommend The Nevers focus on art and outsource the music.

the internet intrudes on our version of reality

After The Nevers finally stopped playing, I noticed the guy standing in front of me looked a bit like Paulie. However, when I met him at the East Atlanta Beer Festival, I was a bit distracted by Katie from Thomas Creek. I then remembered he wrote about going to see White Whale at the same time I realized who the headlining act was. I introduced myself and we chatted for a bit. It was great meeting him, but he would be upstaged by a smokin’ hot blonde about three days later.

silent kids

I was very disappointed with the Silent Kids show. The band never got it together until the last song. I liked the Silent Kids better as a four piece.

What the fuck is with all the feedback? I don’t see Jim or William Reid anywhere in the fucking building and certainly not on stage.

Silent Kids are not recommended. It pains me to write this, because Tomorrow Waits is a superlative album. Unfortunately, I do not like any of their new stuff.

As they say on the internet, your mileage may very, so pay a visit to the Silent Kids Myspace page. By the way, the songs posted right now are all from the Tomorrow Waits era.

white whale

White Whale was pretty good. There was some nonsense with the lead singer shouting into a bullhorn, but it sounded kind of cool, so I will forgive him. Unfortunately, I am an old man now and left after the third song so I missed the last half of their set. I recommend dropping in on White Whale’s Myspace page.

waterboarding a dead horse

I have beaten this motherfucking horse to death and the critics at Evilsponge have kicked it, drawn it, quartered it, and cornholed the remains. Repeatedly. However, the sound guy at The Earl is still fucking deaf. Michael Oakley’s vocals were buried deeper in the mix than Jimmy Hoffa. I have no idea why Beth Kargel bothered to set up her keys, as no one in the audience could hear them anyway (or her vocals). This is not uncommon, I had no idea how much Joie of the late lamented 3d5spd contributed to the band’s sound until I purchased a CD - her keys were always missing in action at The Earl.

Guess what county I found this Safe Driver of the Week™ in. Enjoy another wrecked Honda product: