Propeller Skies

This week, we have a very fucking special Fucktard of the Week™ feature. It all starts with the motherfucking goddamn tree hugging hippie environmentalist douchebags. Because these cocksuckers refuse to let agencies build any goddamn roads, there are no alternate routes in Atlanta. So, when the interstate is fucked, everyone is hosed.

Prior to rush hour, some ass clowns robbed a bank in Cobb County. Apparently the teller was smart enough to drop a GPS device in the money bag and the pigs tracked it down I-75. When the tracking device stopped moving, the genius Cobb County pigs closed ALL southbound lanes on I-75 during rush hour. Think that inconvenienced anyone? Next, the retarded pigs started going car to car looking for the money. Some fucking tracking device. I am not a rocket scientist, but I would bet the alleged crooks threw the GPS gadget or the money out the window and got the hell up out of Chrysler.

this just in:

From 11 Alive News:

“Police said a GPS unit that may have been in the bag of money that was taken was activated, leading them to search in that area.”

Good fucking job, Stephen Hawking - the device may have been in a bag and you shut down the entire fucking interstate inconveniencing tens of thousands. Fuck you. And fuck your mother and your mother’s mother in the ass with a cock big enough for a brontosaurus. And then rip out her eyeball and find someone with AIDS to piss in the socket. Assholes.

From the Atlanta Urinal Constipation:

“Police shut the southbound lanes of I-75 near Moores Mill Road in Fulton County while they searched car-to-car. The tedious exercise didn’t turn up the suspect…”

No, really? See the above comment about shit flying out the window. I can not fucking believe we pay good tax dollars for stunningly brilliant thinking like this.

One more quote from the Atlanta Urinal Constipation:

“Cobb Police Chief George Hatfield also questioned whether his officers should have taken the extreme measure of shutting down the interstate. He said he would call a meeting Friday to evaluate whether delaying thousands of motorists was the right call in the pursuit of a bank robber.”

A goddamn meeting? I will call a fucking meeting and shove my foot up your ass. What a worthless incompetent cunt-rag.

For fucktarded actions above and beyond the call of stupidity, we here at Propeller Skies recommend the following actions be taken immediately: Fire George Hatfield and any other officers involved in this bullshit.

My second night in the PGH, I dropped into The Grille on Seventh for dinner. The food was not so good. It was decent by Pittsburgh standards, but poor in comparison to Atlanta. I will not belabor this, as the bartender was fucking awesome.

I was wearing my Southern Tier shirt and the bartender, an obvious beer fan, asked if I worked there. I responded with something like, no, I just drink the beer. I asked about the Magic Hat display and had a taste of the Apricot beer. Not bad, but I do not generally care for a side of fruit in my beer. Next I tried the Magic Hat wheat beer, which was excellent. After that, I had a Hop Devil India Pale Ale from Victory, which was mighty tasty. I don’t remember the rest.

Some time during the beer drinking and discussion of microbrews, a crew rolled up from the horrible restaurant next to the hotel, which I did not eat at, complements of Citysearch. They were pretty cool folks and Big Lebowski fans as a bonus. Because the place was dead anyway, the bartender shut down early. On my way out, he recommended the Ale House.

This was originally titled “Pirates at PNC Park.” Since the Pirates did not bother showing up to play the Diamondbacks, I dropped them from the headline. Despite the lack of effort from the hometown team, PNC Park is beautiful. A highlight of the park is the spectacular view of downtown Pittsburgh across the river.

Unlike Braves fans, the Pirates fans actually cared about the game and proceeded to heckle the team, which I found hilarious. The fans were also quite friendly and fun to hang out with. PNC Park is highly recommended. The Pirates, not so much. Insider tip: skip the craptastic domestics and order Yuengling.

While Fellini’s and Nick’s Pizza Stop produce reasonable facsimiles, pizza in the south just is not real pizza. So, while chilling in Pittsburgh, I made it a priority to consume some decent pizza.

Villa Real is an authentic northeastern pizza joint. The interior is dimly lit and a patina of age hangs on the walls. Service was snappy and the two slices I ordered came loaded with cheese, pepperoni, and flavor. The crust was thin, like it should be.

Villa Real is exquisite and highly recommended. Any Prizzo Skeezy readers visiting the PGH should stop by for sure.

At Bravo Franco’s, I ordered veal for dinner. Mostly because the thought of torturing cows amuses me. Cows are quite possibly one of the stupidest animals in existence - only slightly smarter than the average Atlanta driver - and deserve their fate. Also, veal tastes good. The veal Parmesan was tender and did not disappoint. I also had a mighty tasty side of garlic mashed potatoes.

For dessert, I requested a cannoli. I am not sure what the fuck I was served, but it was an abomination against all that is good and right. The cannoli itself was tasty. Unfortunately, it came with loads of superfluous shit. Raisins, strawberries, whipped cream, and chocolate sauce have no place on cannolis.

Despite the ridiculous flair attached to the cannoli, Bravo Franco’s is recommended. I had a good meal, almost equal to Alfredo’s. Additionally, the staff is fantastic.