iphone review

About a month ago, I joined the ranks of the doucheoisie and bought my ass an Iphone.

initial impressions

The coolness quotient is insanely high.

Setting up the damn Iphone was a nightmare. First, I had to wait forever to download a bloated new version of Itunes. Next, I swore at my computer while AT&T’s shitty activation page timed out twice during the set up process. After an hour and a half, I could finally make a call. Note to Apple: every other phone I have owned just worked the second I hit the power switch. None of this arduous set up bullshit. Steve Jobs is now just a low rent Bill Gates.

Already having an Ipod Photo, I figured the Ipod interface programmed into the phone would be pretty useless to me. Not so, I find it convenient to have my favorite tunes with me almost all the time.

The email features work well enough, however, this is not real push email like the Blackberry system. Also, every once in a while I am unable to send mail from my Yahoo! account on the Iphone.

the good

  • Safari pwns - easily the best mobile browser ever;
  • Google maps with traffic; and
  • Text messages are stored as conversations.

the bad

  • Internet over EDGE is slower than a motherfucking goddamn Dodge Durango. Seriously, what the fuck?*
  • Syncing requires attaching the phone to my PC with an old fashioned cable, despite the fact that fucking Bluetooth is built into the motherfucking Iphone - syncing also takes for goddamn ever; and
  • Fragile, I dropped it once from two feet off the floor and part of the touch screen went dead.**

to buy, or not to buy?

AT&T’s ultra slow EDGE network cripples the Iphone. At this time, the Iphone is not recommended.

similar products considered

I also looked at Blackberries, but since I was ineligible for an upgrade, one would have cost more than the Iphone. Treos were dismissed for a similar reason, along with their complete lack of coolness.


*Blackberries have 3G on real networks like Sprint and Verizon. Fuck AT&T. Bunch of bitches, anyway.
** The Apple store was kind enough to swap it out. Even better, the customer service person was a pretty slightly nerdy hottie.

One Response to “iphone review”

  1. hunter Says:

    I hear that AT&T is making 3G available to the iPhone in 2008, but I just don’t see myself web browsing on a phone. The porn is just too small to be useful.