This concert review is a trick. Since I am not a Sean Costello fan*, I did not pay attention. The first part of this review covers the venue and the second installment is about the bothersome fuckers that mill about the dump. In the third part, I finally get around to briefly describing the concert.
I found myself at Northside Tavern, along with recurring Propeller Skies characters The Beaver and Hunt Diddy because one of them is a huge fan of Mr. Costello. Two other non-recurring characters named Vidya and Skinny White Boy were also in attendance.
northside tavern review
Northside Tavern is the most irritating bar in Atlanta. Northside Tavern is a dive with all of the annoyances and none of the benefits. When paying exorbitant prices for beer, I like to have a little bit of motherfucking ambiance to go along with it. Some decent scenery would be nice, too. Northside offers neither, but still charges five dollars a brew. Finally, Northside Tavern is always crowded, making the experience even more unpleasant and getting an overpriced beer is a pain in the ass.
the cocksucking customers
I hate the assholes that hang out at Northside Tavern so much, they get their own goddamn section. Northside Tavern has an abundance of sad perverted drunken older gentlemen who loutishly mack on anyone with a vagina. This causes all remotely attractive women to run screaming from Northside Tavern.
A bitch ass punk I will call Biodiesel is an excellent example of the type of sorry pervert running loose in Northside Tavern. While standing at the bar trying to drink my overpriced beer and get jostled by every fucking person in the place, some drunk ass old geezer wearing a hat emblazoned with “Biodiesel” started hitting on Vidya. This was totally cool with me, I figured Skinny White Boy, Vidya’s boyfriend, would grow a set of balls, whip out a switchblade and cut Biodiesel eventually.
After being bumped twice by Biodiesel I ran out of patience. Unfortunately, I was not drunk enough to knock his fucking teeth down his throat like he damn well deserved. So I distracted him by yelling, “Hey! Look, there’s Willie Nelson,” and gave him a shove. Maryland farmer had no idea what happened. It was pretty comical watching him look around in a daze and wander off to hit on some cougar. But knocking some douchebag’s teeth out is definitely on my bucket list.
Had I known it was the last show I would ever see him play, I might have paid more attention. However, I am happy to report there were guitars, drums, bass, and singing.
* Just because he keeled over at the Cheshire Motor Inn does not mean I am going to start spouting off about what a great blues musician he was. Although it does increase his blues cred 300 percent.
** C0mm3nts are now working again.