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Automobiles Category Archive

10.30.07

obese flaccidity on wheels: dodge durango review

Recently, I reserved a premium car at Enterprise for a trip back to the old state. I made this mistake once before and received a shitty Ford Explorer. I did not count it against Enterprise, as the kind gentleman at the service counter mentioned the Passat I would have had was in the […]

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Posted By: Smoove D @21:03

10.23.06

hand job on wheels: 2006 acura tl 5at review

Ed Voyles Acura provided me with a 2006 Acura TL 5AT as a loaner while my 2004 6MT was in for service. Driving a car exactly like mine, except minus a clutch, was rather surreal. I expected the slushbox would not be much different from my beloved whip. I was wrong. […]

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Posted By: Smoove D @21:45

08.21.06

2007 acura tl type-s

News of the 2007 Acura TL Type-S is under embargo until September 1st, but a paper in Boston fucked up and went to press already. I was looking forward to the Type-S and even thinking about trading in my 2004 Acura TL 6MT. Unfortunately, the ass clowns at Acura dropped a poser Type-S. […]

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Posted By: Smoove D @20:40

05.25.06

ed voyles acura service rules

Last Saturday I took my whip in for its first service at Ed Voyles Acura. These guys, specifically Kevin and John, are top notch and earned the Propellers Skies seal of approval. I was out of there early and under budget. I highly recommend the service department at Ed Voyles Acura. […]

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Posted By: Smoove D @21:45

05.24.06

sex on wheels: 2004 acura tl 6mt review

For the longest time, I thought Sex on Wheelz, by My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult, was about having sex in a car. Then I drove an Acura TL.
I highly recommend the TL with six speed manual gearbox*. The only thing Acura forgot to include is a hot blonde, like […]

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Posted By: Smoove D @17:59

05.01.06

nissan sentra review

Progressive made me return the Hyundai Sonata, because Nalley Collision could not be bothered to repair my Acura TL on time. The body shop rented me a Nissan Sentra to drive while they sat around jacking off instead of fixing my whip. Although diminutive and ugly (like all Nissans manufactured after 1999), the […]

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Posted By: Smoove D @13:17

04.18.06

the ultimate boring machine®: hyundai sonata review

In the days of my youth, my good friend Clear-Dogg owned a Hyundai Excel, which did not. One Sunday morning, I had the privilege of driving the aforementioned shoddily constructed and underpowered Excel from Rochester to Buffalo, because Clear-Dogg was suffering from a severe hangover.
After dropping my beloved Acura off at Nalley […]

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Posted By: Smoove D @20:51

04.16.06

wasting $3.00 a gallon gas

The Fucktard of the Week™ and his insurance company finally returned a phone call, so my Acura TL will be going in the shop tomorrow morning for two weeks. Apparently, the bumper cover and fender will be hand painted by a team of highly trained Japanese monks whose productivity is measured in square centimeters […]

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Posted By: Smoove D @23:07

12.18.05

purchasing an acura

I really wanted to replace my Acura RSX Type-S with an Acura TL, but I did not want to pay $34,000 for one. I figured a TSX would be a nice upgrade from the RSX Type-S at a reasonable price. The day after test driving a Lexus IS 250 I went to an […]

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Posted By: Smoove D @22:44

12.16.05

maximum pretension: lexus is250 test drive

After wrecking my Acura, I called in sick to work, collected my dope rental car, and started to surf the internet for a new ride. I was considering the following options [1] find another RSX Type-S, [2] upgrade to a TSX, or [3] ball out of control and upgrade to a TL.
I […]

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Posted By: Smoove D @17:13

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