Propeller Skies

Those of you expecting change are in for a big disappointment.

As mentioned in a prior anti-Comcast rant, I gave Comcast the boot and upgraded to Sprint. For the same price I was paying the cocksuckers at Comcast, I now get broadband that works everywhere in metro Atlanta and major cities nationwide. Work is the operative word - I did have to reset the computer once to take care of a dodgy connection, but that was a huge improvement over repeatedly going without internet for hours at a time. The only drawback of EV-DO rev A is speeds are noticeably slower than with the cable modem. However, as mentioned in the previous post, streaming video does work.

Normally, I hate the fucking French. However, the following video is an exception.

Yes, those are real red lights the driver is running. Yes, actual pedestrians are almost mowed down. Apparently, the film maker was unable to obtain a permit from Big Brother and did it anyway.

Thanks for reading everyone. Even though I have quit so often it deserves a category, this time is for real. I am taking time off to pursue other interests, like my new girlfriend.

This is a bad idea. Do not try this at home.

Bleu cheese left over from a former episode of Pimp My Grilled Cheese was collecting dust in my refrigerator. I was about to toss it when the army of blonde floozies in the Propeller Skies marketing department suggested Pimp My Bubba Burger® would be a logical brand extension. They also noted synergies created by repurposing existing bleu cheese inventories could be leveraged to create a new product category and optimize revenue generation capabilities. Hence the following recipe for a pimped Bubba Burger®:

• Whole grain hamburger bun, one of;
• Bubba Burger® one of;
• Bleu cheese crumbles, lots of; and
• Fresh ground pepper, to taste.

Place one frozen Bubba Burger® in a cast iron grill pan*. Fry over medium heat until juices are on top and flip. Add fresh ground pepper to taste. Sprinkle blue cheese crumbles on the burger. Hint: too much is never enough. Toast hamburger bun. Place pimped Bubba Burger® on freshly toasted bun and add ketchup. Enjoy. Finally, bring Smoove D a bottle of Bombay Sapphire to thank him for taking the time to write up this premium recipe.

notes:

* I find Le Creuset works well, despite being made in France Freedom.
** I’m n ur North Pole snipin’ ur elvez.

Because of the overwhelming response to Pimp My Grilled Cheese: Goat Cheese Edition, I added some bling to my grilled cheese again. Enjoy the following recipe for a grilled cheese sandwich with bleu cheese:

• Whole grain bread, two slices of;
• American cheese*, two slices of;
• Bleu cheese crumbles, lots of;
• Butter**, four slices of; and
• Fresh ground pepper, to taste.

Butter one slice of bread and place butter side down in a cast iron frying pan***. Unwrap and place the slices of American cheese so they cover the bread. Add fresh ground pepper to taste. Sprinkle blue cheese crumbles on the American cheese to taste. Place the remaining slice of whole wheat bread on top of the bleu cheese and put two pats of butter on top of the bread. Fry over medium heat until golden brown and flip. When both sides are suitably toasted, cut diagonally and enjoy. Finally, bring Smoove D a bottle of Tanquerey No. 10 to thank him for introducing such a bitchin’ sandwich to the world.

notes:

* Publix brand is slightly zestier than Kroger brand, while not overwhelming the humble nature of the grilled cheese sandwich.
** This is important: use real butter for optimum grilled cheese flavor.
*** I find Le Creuset works well, despite being made in France Freedom.
**** Chainsaw Death owns.

I like grilled cheese sandwiches for two reasons: they are cheap and easy. Just like the women I date. Additionally, they are mighty fucking tasty. However, in this blingalicious age, the proletarian grilled cheese sandwich could use a little more burberry. Hence the following recipe for a grilled cheese sandwich with goat cheese:

• Whole grain bread, two slices of;
• American cheese*, one slice of;
• Goat cheese, one slice of;
• Butter**, four slices of; and
• Fresh ground pepper, to taste.

Butter one slice of bread and place butter side down in a cast iron frying pan***. Unwrap and place the slice of American cheese in the center. Add fresh ground pepper to taste. Spread goat cheese on the remaining slice of bread and stick it cheese side down on top of the American cheese. Put two pats of butter on top of the bread. Fry over medium heat until golden brown and flip. When both sides are suitably toasted, cut diagonally and enjoy. Finally, send a high class hooker to Smoove D’s ghetto fabulous apartment to thank him for introducing such an awesome taste sensation to the world.

notes:

* Kroger brand works fine. As the grilled cheese is a humble sandwich by nature, high falutin’ imitation cheese is not necessary.
** This is important: use real butter for optimum grilled cheese flavor.
*** I find Le Creuset works well, despite being made in France Freedom.
**** By the way, doomsday Jesus, we need you now.

A few weeks ago, after suffering from abysmal coverage for five years, I gave T-Mobile the boot. Over the last year, on my daily commute I only had network service for roughly 30 percent of the drive. Other areas of Atlanta where I experienced a general lack of coverage include:

• On or near the MARTA East Line - generally no service or one bar;
• East Point - one bar, or possibly two when stepping outside; and
• East Atlanta Village - usually no service, sometimes one bar when stepping outside.

Unfortunately, T-Mobile’s issues do not end outside of metro Atlanta. Lack of coverage in Columbus significantly complicated my efforts to meet The Geographer. T-Mobile is NOT recommended.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned Propeller Skies is nothing but lies. While it has been fun fooling all five readers, the Prizzo Skeezy is now over. From now on, I will only be posting on Myspace at www.myspace.com/smooved.