Propeller Skies

This cartoon about getting engaged totally warms my frozen heart, which is colder than Buffalo in January. For those Prizzo Skeezy readers lucky enough to have never been in the B-Lo in January, it is seriously fucking cold. It is so cold that the weather person does not use negative numbers when reporting the temperature. Because negative numbers just are not small enough, the weather person has to bust out imaginary numbers. Really. It is that cold. I am totally signing up for a certain internet dating service that advertises more marriages per match than any other online dating service.

Just kidding.

Fourteen straight division titles and exactly one World Series Championship have been won by the Atlanta Braves. Last night at turner field, I watched the Houston Astros shell the Braves, 10 to 5 in the division series opener. This is disturbing, because the Astros were not a team built on offense. Houston ranked 11th in the National League in runs during the regular season. Based on the first game of the division series, the Braves will choke this year, too.

I ran into Leah at the grocery store last night. I have no idea what she was doing getting groceries in my hood, as her hood is far away from mine. In conclusion, Leah was looking pretty fucking hot.

Thanks to all four Propeller Skies readers that participated in Blogs That Don’t Suck, where I solicited input with regard to favorite reader blogs. The following blogs are highly recommended.

girlspoke

Not Horny Kristine submitted two blogs, one of which I like because the writing is pretty damn funny. As alert Prizzo Skeezy readers may have already ascertained from the heading, the name of that blog is… Girlspoke.

farting through my fingertips

Saltation missed the point. This is about me being lazy and not having to sort through everyone else’s links. However, I do stop by Farting Through My Fingertips on occasion because [1] I am highly amused by the word fart, and [2] Saltation is pretty fucking funny.

stacey nightmare

Official internet friend Melanie submitted Why Can’t I Meet Just One Nice Guy? and another blog I have not got around to reading yet, since I was too busy drinking beer and spending quality time with my iPod. Stacey Nightmare, the author of the aforementioned blog, is hilarious.

busblog

Couch also submitted two blogs. As Que Sera Sera is already in the Propeller Skies Blogroll of Massive Honor, I checked out Busblog. Despite the livejournalesque lack of capitalization, the writing is decent. This one is not as funny as the previously enumerated blogs.

Finding blogs worth reading is a serious pain in the ass. Because I am a lazy motherfucker, all five Propeller Skies readers are invited to mention their favorite blog, other than this one, via the “comments” link.

The promised land is Columbus, Ohio, of all fucking places. I am not kidding. Really. Also, I have not had three Martinis. Or any other performance enhancing drugs.

About a month ago, I somehow stumbled upon Topless Hotdog Entertainment (THE). Alert Propeller Skies readers will recall that I like hotties and Nathan’s Hot Dogs, so it should not be a mystery why I clicked over there. After visiting a few times, I learned THE is written by a smokin’ six foot tall blonde hottie who also plays hockey. One of the first stories I read was about the worst date ever. Apparently, she agreed to meet this douchebag at a goddamn Waffle House. I realize this seems absurd to my Atlanta based readers who are familiar with that fine restaurant chain, but I found it on the internet, so it must be true. A few weeks later, she posted the link to his Myspace* profile. Out of morbid curiosity I clicked the link and was astounded that eight smokin’ hotties are listed as his friends.

Obviously, Columbus, Ohio, is full of hot women with no taste, hence the impending relocation. I will need to hire a stunt cock to help take care of all the pirate treasure I will surely be getting, what with me having four Metallica albums and a sweet ride and all. Ohio or bust!

notes:

*A blogging service for people who are hopelessly lame and into butt ass ugly web design.

I hate cops. Every single motherfucking last one of them is a cock sucking, power tripping asshole. Therefore, I was overjoyed to find in my inbox a video of pigs looting a Wal*Mart in New Orleans. Right click and download to enjoy.

After living with and using a $400 calendar, also known as the palmOne Tungsten T5, for three months, I have a few thoughts to share. First, the calendar and contacts software is excellent and extremely easy to use. I have had absolutely no issues syncing either with Outlook.

beyond the calendar

One important reason I finally bought a PDA is palmOne’s inclusion of a WiFi card for free. Although surfing wirelessly is a joy when a hot spot is nearby, the fucking browser crashes more often than Billy Joel. Additionally, palmOne should build WiFi into the handheld. While the WiFi card connects and works fine, it sticks out of the PDA making it rather awkward to slip into a pocket or bag. Ideally, the next generation of product will have both WiFi and WiMax built in.

In contrast to the buggy browser, the included email client, VersaMail, is fantastic. Reading email on the handheld is easy, complements of the bright 320×480 color display. Composing or responding to email is not so pleasant. However, Graffiti is better than other systems like predictive text input schemes used on mobile phones.

synchronized swimming

The number of options for syncing the PDA with other computers is excellent. I normally use Bluetooth, which works flawlessly. PalmOne really nailed this part.

sweet toys

A key strength of handheld computers is expandability. Several software companies have written various applications that run under PalmOS. One I find particularly handy is the Wine Enthusiast Guide, an excellent and reasonably comprehensive database of wine that makes choosing and managing wine remarkably easy. Unfortunately, I have not had much spare time to search out other cool applications. Any suggestions from PalmOS users in the peanut gallery are welcomed.

I would like to thank Apple for finally bowing down to The Great Satan and including the ability to sync the iPod calendar and contacts with Outlook.

Tuesday night, I stopped by Kroger on the way to recurring Propeller Skies character Big A’s house to pick up some Red Stripe. Unfortunately for me, Kroger is bootleg and does not carry Red Stripe. So I rang up Big A on the telephone to ascertain what her second choice of beer might be. While on the phone with her, I read Dawson’s Creek on the side of a six pack. What the fuck? I imagine Dawson is more of a Zima drinker, not that there is anything wrong with that. I whipped out my Olympus Stylus Verve and took a shot of this strangely named beer. A few minutes later, I realized I had misread the name of the beer and it was really Lawson Creek beer. [Smoove admits to watching Dawson's Creek, not that there is anything wrong with that, but notes it was only because the blonde was smokin' hot - Ed.]

I have never heard of Lawson Creek beer before. Because I attend numerous beer festivals on a regular basis, such as the Dunwoody Beer Festival, Great Decatur Beer Festival, and East Atlanta Beer Festival I am clearly an expert on beer. I am now going to use my wealth of beer drinking experience and my lack of brand awareness to hypothosize that Lawson Creek beer is not so tasty. Also, Lawson Creek has a terrible marketing department. Seriously, if people who drink lots of beer have never heard of the product, then who has? Fortunate readers who have experienced Lawson Creek beer are invited to share their taste experience via the “comments” link.