Propeller Skies

Texas A&M: 38
Texas: 30

Texas A&M: 12
Texas: 7

Dennis Franchione is now officially Mike Leach’s bitch and the proud owner of a 1 and 3 record against the worst school in Texas.

fire franchione

Although I would like to see Mr. Franchione go, I have tried to be somewhat fair and balanced on this site. However, with the latest embarrassing loss to a second rate team, the time has come to end the charade. I realize Texas A&M will not play for a national championship, or for the Big 12 conference championship, every single year, but the losing has got to stop.

Mr. Franchione needs to be fired. Mike Leach embarrasses him every year wherever the game is played. Mack Brown bends Mr. Franchione over and pounds him in the ass with a dick big enough for a pachyderm every November. Finally, even the sorry Baylor Bears are routinely pushing the Aggies into overtime.

fire gary darnell

Gary Arnell (because the D is missing*) and his patented Pink Shirts (lack of) defense lost this game. In the grand old days under R.C. Slocum**, the Wrecking Crew defense would have won the game for Texas A&M. Mr. Arnell’s failure this week is made worse because Gary Patterson wrote an instruction manual on stopping the Red Raider offense a few weeks ago. As predicted, Mr. Arnell’s (lack of) defense was exposed in Big 12 conference play as shown by the following statistics:

• Points allowed per game increased to an average of 15.8 - good for eighth in the Big 12;
• Pass defense went in the toilet, with average passing yards allowed per game increasing to 180.4 - or over 50 more yards than the average last week;
• Rush defense improved to an average of 113.8 yards allowed per game - mostly because Texas Tech had so much success shredding the Aggie (lack of) pass defense they never bothered to run; and
• Total defense is a disappointing fifth in the Big 12 at 294.2 yards allowed per game.

notes:

* Thanks to recurring Propeller Skies commenter T. Martin for clueing me into that.
** I admit to thinking it was time for Mr. Slocum to hang it up and being enthusiastic about Mr. Franchione being hired as head coach. However, the last four years have proven me wrong - Mr. Franchione will never be half the coach that Mr. Slocum was.

After Dennis Franchione’s prior performances in Aggieland, I am shocked that Texas A&M has managed to win the first four games of the season. Granted, logos of these teams show up next to “cupcake” in the dictionary, but Mr. Franchione has the dubious distinction of losing to Baylor, and almost losing to Baylor, so this is a surprise.

fire franchione

I am getting rather tired of typing fire followed by Franchione, or Darnell. Unfortunately, Mr. Franchione has yet to prove he should remain as the head coach of the Aggies. Hint: it’s the winning, stupid. Last week, the Texas A&M offense looked lackluster against a mediocre Army defense. This week, the Aggie offense did not even show up until the second half. Lack of offense in the last two games bodes ill for the conference opener against Texas Tech.

fire darnell

The fucking French have more defense than Gary Darnell. Behold the surrender of Mr. Darnell’s (lack of) defense:

• Points allowed per game continued the upward trend and now stands at 12;
• Pass defense increased to an average of 127.5 yards allowed per game, however this is still good for first in the Big 12 and complements of a weak sauce schedule;
• Rushing yards allowed decreased to 132 yards per game, but the Aggies are now last in the Big 12; and
• Total defense increased to an average of 259.5 yards allowed per game.

Even though a win is a win, the Texas A&M Aggies looked positively awful against the Army Black Knights and Dennis Franchione was out coached yet again. As per usual in the Dennis Franchione era, the missing in action Aggie (lack of) defense almost lost the game. Mr. Franchione made the best call he could late in the game on a fourth and one at the Texas A&M 30 yard line. Giving the ball to Jorvorskie Lane was Mr. Franchione’s only option, which would have worked if the offensive line held. Gary Darnell’s patented Pink Shirts (lack of) defense was certainly not up to the task of preventing an Army touchdown. The Pink Shirts did manage to hold, however this was more the fault of the Black Knights’ incompetent offense than an outstanding Aggie defensive effort.

fire franchione

Last week, I did not call for Mr. Franchione’s firing, as the offense seemed to be in decent shape. Sadly, Army proved the Texas A&M offense is lacking.

fire darnell

Mr. Darnell should never have been hired in the first place. As predicted two weeks ago on Propeller Skies, all four of the following defensive categories tracked got worse:

• Average points allowed per game trended upward to 11.3, while the number of points scored increased from 7 to 24;
• Pass defense increased to 93.7 yards allowed per game - good for 1st in the Big 12, however, this is a function of poor opposing quarterbacks and not a solid Aggie defense;
• Rush defense is even worse than last week, with 151.7 yards allowed per game - again good for 11th in the Big 12; and
• Total yards allowed increased to 245.3 - good for 4th in the Big 12, two spots lower than last week.

Conference play is going to be a motherfucker.

Dennis Franchione gets a pass this week from the usual call for his ouster, because the offense appears to be up and running. Scoring 51 points against the Ragin’ Cajuns was a reasonable and expected result. Additionally, the offense stopped fumbling on every other play, leading to an improved, but still sorry, average turnover margin of -0.5 per game. Texas A&M now has the ninth worst turnover margin in the Big 12.

defense allows 134 percent more points in week two

Gary Darnell needs to be fired, yesterday. Two of the four categories Propeller Skies tracks declined this week. Behold the following less than stellar defensive statistics:

• Points allowed increased from an average of 3 per game to 7 - against weak opponents who should be shut out;
• Pass defense improved to 72.5 yards per game, good for best in the Big 12 - again negated by the poor quality of opposing teams;
• Rush defense is a fucking disaster, with 134.5 yards allowed per game - good for eleventh in the Big 12; and
• On the strength of the pass defense, total defense improved to 207.0 yards per game - second in the Big 12.

On the surface, Mr. Darnell appears to be doing an acceptable job. However, Bill Byrne’s philosophy of backing up the cupcake truck is simply hiding the reality that Mr. Darnell is a worse defensive coordinator than Carl Torbush. I predict Mr. Darnell’s one strong suit, pass defense, will go up in smoke when the Aggies begin playing teams with actual offenses. Rush defense is already cause for concern. After playing two weak sauce teams, the Texas A&M defense should be at the top of the Big 12 in stopping the run - not fighting for last place with Oklahoma. Lack of rushing defense is going to kill the Aggies in conference play - especially against Oklahoma.

To no one’s surprise, the Texas A&M Aggies handily defeated the Citadel Bulldogs at Kyle Field to win their 20th consecutive home opener. Stephen McGee, Courtney Lewis, and Jorvorskie Lane all put up decent statistics in the win. Unfortunately, the Aggie offense also fumbled more than a freshman unhooking his first brassiere - leading to a fucking awful turnover margin of -3. Along with Oklahoma, this is the worst turnover margin in the Big 12.

wrecking crew still missing

Gary Darnell should print out and frame the statistics from the following categories tracked by Propeller Skies, as they are all likely to get worse as the season progresses:

• The defense only allowed 3 points;
• Pass defense is respectable with only 128 yards were allowed, good for 4th in the Big 12 - I suspect this is due to the ineptness of the Citadel offense, not any brilliant schemes on the part of Dennis Franchione or Mr. Darnell;
• The Texas A&M rushing defense is 10th in the Big 12, allowing 115 yards per game ;
• The Aggies are 4th in the Big 12 in total defense, with 243 yards per game.

Not only did the Texas A&M men’s basketball team make it to the post season, something Dennis Franchione’s football teams have not managed in two of his three years as head coach, the Aggies upset Syracuse in the first round. For those keeping score at home, Billy Gillispie has one post season win and Franchione has precisely zero at Texas A&M. Gillispie deserves a fat raise and a contract extension for turning a team that started off slow at a school that could give a fuck about basketball into a contender. And Gillispie managed to do it with defense, something Franchione and Gary Darnell know jack and shit about. Franchione deserves to be fired, yesterday.

This morning at work, I was working hard at surfing the internet and came across this headline: Aggies Stun No. 6 Texas At Buzzer. The article noted, “…the Aggies like to play tough defense, keep the score low and put themselves in position to win at the end. ” Holy shit, that sounds just like the football program’s wrecking crew defense under R.C. Slocum. Dennis Franchione, through inept coaching, drove them off Kyle Field and into Reed Arena.

As an aside, I would normally be ecstatic about a victory over the motherfucking cock swallowing tea-sips, but basketball is a bitch sport and does not really count. So I am merely really fucking happy. Saw ‘em off!

Apparently, the Seattle Seahawks are too lame to come up with their own traditions, so they jacked the 12th Man from Texas A&M. Unfortunately for the ass clowns in Seattle, the 12th Man is a registered trademark of Texas A&M University.

I hope Joey Porter breaks some Seahawk legs en route to a Pittsburgh Steelers win in the extra large Superbowl.

Read ‘12th Man’ Dispute Kicked to Federal Court.